Okay, Mariano wait ka lang jan. Sige tinamaan nanaman ako ng katamaran at antok...lagot. hehe.

Can I just say na napaka unfair ni ROSANA! I mean back to back daw ang orals at interdisciplinary project namin. Grabe. Pinapatay mo kami. Sinabi niya lang last Tuesday na orals na this week. Insane. At noong araw din na yon ang sign ups, at thesis statements. Hindi naman masyadong pre-meditated ang kanyang ginawa sa amin ano. Rrrr...

Okay back to happy post. Noong Friday nagkaroon ng get together kami nila April, Anne at Rai (Haberday Anne!) and ayun napunta ang usapan sa boys. (Surprise..) hahaha. Anyway ang weird kasi parang ang dami kong alam tungkol sa mga boys. Isnt that the weirdest thing? ako rin naweirduhan talaga.

Basta ang mga lalaki, they don't have a clue. You have to spell it out for them to get it. Kaya if you want something to happen, make it happen. Boys act on what other people say like pah natutukso kayo together or on the very OBVIOUS signals you send them. Unless the signals you send are sure-fire, clear as the sun and almost plastered on your shirt, they won't get that you like them.

haha. Okay that was weird coming from me. hehehe Saan ko ba natutunan yon? haha. After years of guy best friends I guess you kinda catch their drift.

-----
Okay sasali na rin ako sa Hip Hop Abs craze. Sa OJT namin may Hip Hop Abs session daw, akalain mo yon. ahaha. Pero after office hours, pag nasa bahay na kaming lahat. haha. Kelangan ko nalang ng mga dvd para magpaburn ako. Mega diet na talaga ako. Sure na toh, peksman.

Sabi ko nga kay April "I'm so taba"

Grabe hindi ko alam paano ako magrereact pag sinasabi ng tao na mejo tumaba na daw ako. I've been caled malnourished all my life e, now im overnourished (?). Haay. Nahihirapan pa akong ideiscern kung maganda ba yun o pangit or what...Siguro kasi ngayon ko lang naririnig yon dati kasi pataba ka lang e, ngayon narating ko na lahat ng mga payo nila sakin.

I've been on a money diet lately. Noong Wednesday 10 pesos lang ang ginastos ko sa buong araw. Akalain mo yon. hahaha. Nagalit sakin si Kei, sabi niya hindi na daw ako kumakain. pero kumakain ako I swear. hehehe.

TILT, TUCK and TIGHTEN lang ang sagot jan.

I've been sleeping more and more lately.
even longer hours than before if you could imagine it.
people know me as a sleepyhead, and now its not just for nothing.
I've mastered the art of sleeping my life off.
I dont wnat to deal with the problems that each day serves me.
today, its 1 week notice
tomorrow we're moving to california
and as uncertainty becomes more and more constant
i close my eyes and escape
this so-called reality that makes me want to stay in my dreams.

Now I know how it feels like to be sad about waking up
how much better it was when i had my eyes shut. when the world was still whole
and not as shattered when i open my eyes. i cant believe that i now cry before
i rise up from the bed. how much pain it takes to move on
to go throughout the day thinking and feeling
this is not the life i want to be living


take me back to the land of eternal dreams. of golden trees and sweet smelling air.
take me back to the land where there are no felt tears. where tears are just water
just flowing in your eyes but never felt.
take me to the world where numbness is the reality. where i rejoice in those fleeting winks.
i want to make my dreams my life. It would be so much better than this.


====
i had a nap today. and i experienced those nightmares where you couldnt move.
i couldnt breathe. i couldnt feel my arms and legs and i wanted to call out to my brother but i cant. i struggled to wake up.


how stupid of me.

My mom and I shopped for some candies and chocolates kanina to give to trick or treaters tomorrow. Siyempre we're kinda new at this whole thing and we dont know what to expect. I wanted to get really delicious chocolates pero sympre mahal yun and well, we are going to give it away.

Ang weird lang kasi i don't feel the need to buy goodies and give to trick or treaters on halloween. I mean, christmas I get it with all the spirit of giving etc, pero halloween?! Huh? Iniisip ko pa parang unfair kasi i dont get anything in return, (haha. selfish) pero that aside I am a little excited about about halloween tomorrow night. I dont know what to expect, and even though I am not 100% agreeable to the whole thing, I dont want a bunch of tricks waiting for us when we go out of the house when we don't give away candy.

I asked my friend who lives here what usually happens on Halloween, sabi nya well you give kids candies and ideally you should let them pick but you don't want to run out of goodies so you just hand them over to the kids. And there's thing about the best in costume, people tend to buy like a better goodie (like a more expensive chocolate or a special treat) to give to those who really dressed up for the occasion. our neighbor who is also Pinoy said we shouldnt give to older kids, just to the young ones and especially not to those who ring the bell close to midnight or really really late. paranoid din pala mga tao dito. haha. Also there's an issue of people putting drugs on the candies they give away or other stuff like poison to the kids, this caused an alarm among the parents and in effect some parents eat the candies themselves in order for their children to be safe. Those people are just so twisted and sick and ugh. i can't believe there is such as issue like that.

My brother has a halloween dance tomorrow. they only have half day for school and they're supposed to dress up daw in a costume. Syempre last minute preparations na naman, and when we went to the store they were out of costumes for my brother, or atleast ones that would fit him. in an effort to save the day, my mom just bought a black shirt and a cross pendant. So paang goth boy nalang si Josh bukas. hahaha.

I think we're all set for this halloween business.

trick or treat,
let's do this thingy.

Gawd, the first semester just flew by. Now, I can't remember what I did. Masyado akong preoccupied with whatever i was doing, i didnt appreciate the semester as much.

Kanina nagchat kami ni Cedrik, kinuwento nya sakn yung Little manhattan vs. saw ii debate. And the thing is I couldnt even remember that incident. Oh no, may amnesia na ba ako?

What was I thinking about the whole time? it seems like all the four years were a blur to me now. sobra ba akong nagreppress ng mga memory? :(

I feel so lost. :(

====

this is the first and last time I'm going to say something about this here.
I dont know what's happening to you guys, and I care as much as the next random person. Why do i get the feeling that i'm involved? Would one of you guys just confront me and tell me what's the problem! I waited till the dust settled but it still seems like its messed up, and on some weird level i'm the one blamed. I dunno if im just being paranoid, and i hope that i just am.

nag-away na kami dito. it was a stupid stupid fight over nothing. why do i get involved in these things? why?

I never should have joined in the first place. you were strangers and i was okay.

Grabe when you're in Hell week, you stay in hell week. Siguro kasi natatambakan ako ng work by my own doing or against my will. hehe.

Isang napagandang realization ang naganap sa akin these past few days. There really comes a time when you're ready to forgive a person after such a long time. ngaun I know how she feels. (haha feeling,pero seriously it hit me like a big wave.) It's not your fault.

Nanuod kami ng play sa UP kanina kasama nung mga kaklase ko sa shakespeare. In fairness, sir Exie i beg to differ. Orlandong orlando si Mike Manotoc. Grabe graduate pa siya ng NYU. hehehe. Orlando=LOVE. Nakaktawa pa kanina kasi yung kaisa-isang lalaki na kasama namin ay pilay pa. So in times of danger, we're dead. hehe.

Yehey. Gino's theory was wrong. *hinga ng maluwag.

Wow. Grabe, I'm still in shock with the news that Chris Benoit killed his wife and kid and then committed suicide. I don't know if this is just a hoax, pero still it struck me in a way na "tama si Heidegger"

Its just sad because he's doing quite well naman, and issues with his family mustve been grave or severely disordered for them to die that way. Sabi nga ng friend ko na hindi daw siya makapaniwala na magagawa ni Benoit yun. To some extent I agree with him, kasi I've been watching WWE since time in memorial so things like this hit close to home for me.

Pero its like the VA tech thing, you never know. Life is unpredictable. People are unpredictable. Maybe he had his own reasons however twisted they may be.

these instances are also very unfortunate because they paint a grim picture of death. it makes it harder to swallow. And eventhough death must be viewed from two points, we are beings unto death and life in the viewpoint of death, ang mga ganitong pangyayari ang kinakatakutan natin.

Separation is the greatest suffering.

Chris Benoit- Toothless Aggression, I will miss cheering for you.

I'm starting the semester without a laptop. And natawa ako kanina kay April dun sa reaction nya nung sinabi ko kung bakit.

"binenta kasi ng nanay ko"

Haha. Kawawa naman ako. BOO HOO.

I really don't feel the senior vibe. haha. If there is that something that you feel.

OO nga, sisiw na ang mga readings. 50 pages?! What's that? Hehe.

Ang bilis ng panahon. Last day for everything.
Narealize ko lang na hindi kasi ako mahilig sumali sa mga picturetaking kaya konti lang yung mga pics na kasali ako. HS yearbook all over again, where I couldnt find a single picture of me in it. Haha, kaya as late as it is na, I'm gonna cram getting myself photographed. By anyone, whenever, wherever I'm game.

SMILE :)

I never thought that going home would be this hard. I miss so much people back home, but it pains me to see the people I'll leave behind. Sometimes life takes a sharp curve that you're not ready for. And when you're taking that sharp turn, you just freeze, and get on with it.

I dont know where this is going, and it scares the hell out of me. Im afraid, because I'm not good at picking up the pieces.

The time to rebel has already passed. And taking this short vacation here made me realize that I am leading a different life now. It's like dipping your feet in the cold swimming pool and coming back for another day.


Am I ready for it? For new friends, new job, a new me...?


I'm scared of going back. Because I'm not the same person anymore.

Just a thought...

I tend to be too controlling sometimes. too controlling that it hurts me when things don't go the way I want it to be. I can't see the fine line between holding your ground and just accept other people's own principles. When do you know that you're right? Right that you can fight for it.

I watched Desperate Housewives last Sunday, and I somewhat relate to how Susan's feeling. The guide was right. I too, am a drama junkie. when the dust settles, I go and stir up some more. I like complication. I think too much. Siguro Im better off all alone. Ang gulo ko eh.


Haaaayyy

I spent 2 hours scouring the internet for those long-lost cartoons I used to watch when I was little. Inspired by CN's The Best Day Edder, I thought I'd look for those cartoons I used to love.

I wish I could just go back in time and watch these things all over again.

Gumby


I don't know if anyone liked Gumby as I did. My mom was afraid of the little green humanoid made out of clay, but I adored him and his friends-Pokey, Clokey etc. I watched an episode in a site somewhere and it sure brought back some memories. The series started way back in 1955, and lasted about 35 years. The adventures were funny, and since they were made out of clay, they could move in and out of things like books and walls. Haha. It did scare the hell out of my mother. Nyahaha good times.

G-Force

Omg, G-force was like the first anime series I ever watched. It's based on a manga and featured 5 teenagers and a "space?" aircraft that can turn into a phoenix when they transform and battle enemies. I found a DVD on amazon and cost 15 bucks. Darn. I couldnt find episodes on the internet.

Super Mario Bros Show!

Supah Mario Bros Supah Show! Oh yeah, I really loved this show. It would first show actors as Mario and Luigi and get themselves involved in tight situations at the beginning then they'd show the cartoon version then it'll end with the actors again resolving whatever mess they got into. On fridays, they would show Legend of Zelda (which back then I didnt know the title, I just called it a guy and a princess) which I loved too. It was the first show that made me *kilig*. Take note, grade 1 palang ako nito ata. hehehe.

Beakman's World
Haha. Geeky childhood. I used to watch this show, its very educational. It made science very interesting and simple. I thought Lester the rat was hilarious. Hahaha. They're airing episodes here every Sunday on Fox. Happiness.

Where's Wally?/Waldo?
Ahh this was a great cartoon show, especially when you have to find Wally in a picture full of stuff. And his red/white ensemble is such a classic. hehe.

There are many shows I loved when I was young...Kimba the White Lion, Care Bears, all those anime "tagalized versions from Voltes V, Daimos, Zenki, Ghostfighter etc...and then you have the more modern ones- Hey Arnold, Arthur, The Adventures of Tin Tin...

www.retrojunk.com features a list of the shows from the 80s and 90s. Check it out!

Finally got to update yay, so many things have happened natambak na ang aking mga sasabihin. ehehehe. It's 10:57PM here in New Jersey, and its freaking 4 degrees centigrade. Too hot for snow and yet too cold for me. The surroundings here look really neat, trees still have no leaves. feeling ko nasa Bambi ako. hehehe. Let's see what I've been doing so far...

Day 1: April Fool's day
Left Manila at 6:45 Am. Sumama si Allan sa paghatid, kaso natraffic sya, but still made it. Surprisingly ang dami ng tao sa airport, there was a long line sa check-in and also sa immigration. I was travelling with my brother coz my mom booked late and was on another flight. Ang hirap lalo na't 4 na luggage ang dala namin. So I (we) had to haul them back and forth from the cart to the conveyor etc. my arms are still sore, and I'm beginning to see muscles. hehehe. The flight was crazy, we had 4 stopovers with 2 of them 1 hr intervals lang. Sa Japan yun actually, and grabe akala ko maiiwan na kami ng plane or something. Pagdating namin sa Japan, mejo lost in translation kami. I couldnt really understand what the ground crew was saying (although some of them were cute so okay na rin...hahahaha....oooppsss behave), but all ends well naman.It was funny coz everyone in the plane looked to me like the Prime minister of Japan. hahaha. We left Japan and was off to Detroit and our 5 hour break there. I didnt expect the long trip to be sooooooo long. I thought I could handle it pero ang hirap sobra. I kept waking up every hour or so, and experiencing this weird time difference feeling. yung katabi namin was from taiwan.She was an old lady and smelled like white flower. Grabe nuung una i was like, OMG ...kaya ko ba to...pero she turned out to be nice and helped us out. hehehe. We reached Detroit around 1:45pm, and our next flight to Newark was 650 pa. Ang laki ng airport nila, may Tram sila sa loob to get to one building to another. (hindi naman ako masyado naamaze) Sumakay nga kami ng kapatid ko eh. hahaha. for fun. Anyway, finally we boarded and arrived in Newark. Paglabas namin ng airplane, ayun na, naramdaman ko na ang lamig. no match yung jacket ko. boohoo...tapos nagfreak out kami ng kapatid ko ng may lumabas na smoke out of our mouths nung nagsalita kami. hahaha. grabe how movie-like. hehehe
I called John D that night, unlimited pala calls dito. Haha. Sad nga lang hindi kami makakapunta ng Calif, napostpone tuloy ang reunion namin ni John D. Ooopps...John na pala siya ngaun, drop the D. hehehe.

April 2: Jacket, Walmart and the walking disaster
haha, so second day lumabas kami at nag-grocery nung hapon. Josh bought a new game for his PS3 and we proceeded to Wal-mart. Kaya lang naiwan ng daddy ko yung susi ng kotse sa loob! and mind you, ang lamig lamig lamig!!!! nagmagaling si Josh at hindi nagdala ng jacket so I had to give mine to him. grabe talaga i was freezing, i felt my knuckles harden and became robotic. We decided to walk nalang to Wal-mart which was not that far away pero nakakahiya pa rin coz no one else was walking and I had no jacket with me. kawawa din dad ko kasi he walked back home and retrieved the spare key. hahaha. Atleast he had a jacket with him.

April 3: Window Shopping
We went to a mall today. I forgot what it was called. Hmmm, parang siyang festival mall. Ang cool kasi puro brands na hindi ko alam. hahaha. Ang mahal ng damit dito, sadness. :( Especially if you convert, i try my best not to do that pero I can't help it eh. Sana mayaman nalang ako. hehehe

April 4: New Cp
yey! I got a new phone! bumili ng family plan and dad ko, para daw magtatawagan kami. ahaha weird nga eh. Wala rin naman akong matawagan dito sa US. libre daw pag same provider and pag gabi libre sa lahat. Sana pwede din sa pinas, heaven yun.


Jetlag pa din ako....

Food I love you. Ang sarap ng pagkain dito. Boohoohoo... Baka hindi niyo na ako makilala pag dating ko jan...

"The only sincere love is the love of food..."

Some pictures from Baguio. My cousins and I decided to take some funny poses! haha. At narealize ko na...mukha akong cartoons. hahahaha. Mahilig akong magfunny faces at naddistort ko yung mukha ko in so many different ways. hahaha...ang weird ko. Good times though. Mamimiss ko mga pinsan ko. Tumatanda na kami...haha. Natatandaan ko pa dati kami daw ang powerpuff girls, madaya nga kasi ako daw si Blossom. Pero gusto ko si Buttercup. hmpf. Haay...




we took most of the pics sa car, tapos we headed to sleepy hollow starbucks sa may John Hay. Ang freaky kasi it was around 10pm tapos ang foggy sa John Hay. With all the trees, mukha talagang Silent hill+Sleepy Hollow yung Starbucks. hahaha. Kulit.

Whew, nakakapagod maghabol ng mga kailangan gawin. Graduation pa bukas so wala yung mga taong kailangan kong kausapin. ARGH!

Minor Pain- aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh Bakit ang hirap maglakad ng minor? o siguro dahil kinacram ko lang? tapos wala pa ako sa reg so gudlak talaga kay Ate Mia o kay Allan. Argh ang sakit na ng ulo ko, babalik pa ako ng school bukas para tignan kung napirmahan na ni Father M. (FC) yung form ko. tas cashier, acctg at may isa pa....im dead.

Practicum news, lagot talaga ako kay Mam mendoza. I am so dead. Sana payagan nya akong magpracticum sa US. Crap tapos nasa California pa yung contact namin kamusta naman hindi ko siya macontact.


sige rant rant rant...

F pa ata ako may Manny DY. or D kay manny Dy. Crap.


I told you so...*She's like sooo whatever...I think we should get together now.*

Kamusta naman at galing ako ng Baguio nung weekend. Yes the weekend before the finals, I was there nagpapalamig at hindi nag-aaral. Can I just say na ang hirap mag-aral pag malamig, masarap ang simoy ng hangin, with matching unlimited DVD watching time. Kaya ayan, wala akong alam pag dating ng Finals week.

I still managed to review for Theology though. Pagkatapos ng makabagdamdaming pag-uusap namin ni Mam Natividad (na sulatan ko daw si father Dacanay about father Inchody's not-so-performance sa aming klase) nainspire ako na ma-A si Inchody. hahaha. or atleast B+. Basically baguio time=inchody time. Grabe talaga paulit ulit kong binasa yung human sexuality, marriage at iba pang theo chuva. Sulit naman, dahil nasagot ko yung exam ng maigi. hahaha.

Ang orals ko kanina with RR ay isang kabobohan to the max. Yun tlga yung orals na hindi ko alam kung anu yung mga sinabi ko. mabuti nalang at alam ko yung Foucault at hindi niya tinanong sakn yung welfare state. hahaha. sa 15 mins na orals ko, siguro 10 mins ang thinking time. kamusta naman kasi walang thesis statements so anything goes. hahaha.

Philo na bukas, hindi pa ako tapos mag-aral at ayoko na mag-aral. Manny Dy have mercy on me. hay hay hay. Pag nabunot ko yung civil society at polsci stuff, its over talaga. hahaha. POS 167 na toh, come to think of it yun ang pinakagamit ko na subject. on all things being equal, fave ko tlga si mam salvador.

Lapit na April 1. Guys anu gusto niyo pasalubong? *wink wink* (Disclaimer: Tandaan na hindi ako OFW, wala akong trabaho dun except maglinis ng bahay at mag-operate ng elevator hahaha)

Salamat kay April para sa mga "cafrinkles"
Salamat kay Kei para sa RR readings
Salamat kay Gino para sa 1st sem notes sa Philo
Salamat kay Jobo para sa kape at sa mga insights about Eastern Philo and love life and death, next time ulit pag balik ko.
Salamat kay Bianca G. at nainspire ako mag-aral sa philo if only for a little while. hahaha. FC.

Well well well, I couldnt resist blogging this day. It started out slow, with only RR's class in the morning and then my Molmisa class which was the typical reporting bore. Don't get me wrong, the reporters were great and all pero of course, reportings well arent really much fun. Anyhoo, I was dying of thrist during 131 so I decided to vendo some coke. So there I was in front of the vendo bending over to get my 330ml coke from the bin when it happened. My first encounter with mystery guy this sem. He's alive! hehe. I thought He got out of school or something. Ah yes, the movie like moment lingered on for a few more seconds and then I went back to class clutching that precious coke.


I'M NOT A STALKER...

yeah keep telling yourself that jam...

But then again, who isnt?

You got that right! I finally joined the LJ bandwagon. And I blame April for this, and her "soon-to-be-famous blog". Damn, I want some of that. Nah, just kidding. Peace April! Really I loved your blog! Especially about entries about father Dacky! hehe. How I wish I couldve gotten him for theo, instead I'm stuck with Father inchody. I hate my lone class on MWFs, theo131 turned psychology turned the winner of the most boring class award. Believe me, watching flies zoom past by seems like a ball during Theo class.

I watched 300 earlier today. At first I thought I wouldnt like it. But, wow...the abs man...they were everywhere. hehehe. I crush the young hunk who got decapitated. Sweet sweet pretty head oozing in his handsome blood. hehehe. Morbid can be gwapo, gawd.





Haha, if you're trying too hard to do something...stop trying. That's why I'm gonna stop reading tom's reading. hahaha.

Hey, Have you guys seen Parkour Ateneo? Haha, Sana makita ko sila. Next entry ko Parkour promise.